Wednesday, June 12, 2013

In which is contained a letter from a wretched libertine to a fellow-sporter

Letter I---Mr. Robert Trenton to Mr. Jack Brockden

If you could observe me now, you would see how I nearly tremble as I write this---yet ‘tis not in groveling self-abasement, but in mighty ecstasy, that I quake so to relate my latest debauch to you. I believe you are acquainted some with the industrious cleaning-lady who attends to my apartment twice a week. No doubt you remember the maid Consuela Muñoz performing her aproned offices around the house. Though it may be regarded as unseemly for us to be taking such notices of our house-cleaners--better that we pretend they are not in the room with us—yet ‘tis no where written that the Master of the house should also be ignoring their beautiful daughters, or as the Spanish prefer to call them, hijas preciosos. For Juliana Muñoz is indeed the charmingest and prettiest young lady I have ever laid my eyes upon---and a true-blue virgin---at least until now she was.

Her age---but what care I for her age when the subject is Cupid’s capricious arrows; suffice it to say that Juliana Muñoz is old enough to be in high school, where, you will be pleased to hear, she is a most promising student, which her mother, in her broken English, communicated to me.

It chanced that I met Juliana when her mother had carried her to work on some occasions. Juliana allowed me to keep her company; at first only in the presence of her mother; and then once permitting me to entertain her in my private chamber. For as I am a gentleman with a fortune---handsome in fortune and in appearance--and she but a working-class wench, shall you blame her mother for trusting me alone with her daughter? Mind you, the maid Consuela is just barely able to make herself understood in English. Make that two private occasions actually, the last one being but few hours ago; upon which occasion I unloosened her virgin knot!

Indeed, I have plundered the treasures of Juliana Muñoz’s body. I have made Juliana into a woman, or as the Latin races might call her now, Signora Muñoz.  

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