A Gentle Echo on Woman

I present here an amusing poem by my contemporary, Mr.Jonathan Swift, a celebrated writer of Irish descent, and a great wit---

A Gentle Echo on Woman

(In the Doric Manner)

Shepherd: Echo, I ween, will in the woods reply,

And quaintly answer questions: shall I try?

        Echo: Try,

What must we do our passion to express? 

        Press.

What most moves women when we them address?

        A dress.

Say, what can keep her chaste whom I adore? 

        A door.

If music softens rocks, love tunes my lyre.

        Liar.

Then teach me, Echo, how shall I come by her?

        Buy her.

But what can glad me when she's laid on bier?

        Beer.

What must I do when women will be kind?

        Be kind.

What must I do when women will be cross?

        Be cross.

Lord, what is she that can so turn and wind?

        Wind.

If she be wind, what stills her when she blows?

        Blows.

Is there no way to moderate her anger?

        Hang her.

Thanks, gentle Echo! right thy answers tell

What woman is and how to guard her well.

        Guard her well.